


the world is relatively simple

by cano



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Crack, Do not take me seriously, Gen, M/M, and progamers are horrible with babies, idk this started because Piccaboo and Ambition looked similar enough to be related, that fic where Ambition gives birth to Piccaboo, there's so much crack and biological impossibilities in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 16:24:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cano/pseuds/cano
Summary: Now he’s in front of the CJ gaming house, surrounded by Sangmyun-hyung (who has a very, very serious look on his face), Hosan (who looks terrified), Jinyoung (pale and frozen) Mingi (tired, but really when doesn’t he look tired), and finally, Chanyong, who looks like he has been through five layers of hell and wants to deny everything that has happened.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eloboosting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloboosting/gifts).



> Summary: Ambition has a baby. That baby is Piccaboo.
> 
> This fic had been named _'fuck you eloboosting'_ previously because she wrote that 'in search of parents' series and forced me to dig out my WIP about Ambition raising Piccaboo.
> 
> (Set in 2015-ish spring/summer era, back when Ambition was still in CJ and Piccaboo was _still playing in the LCK_ *ugly sobbing*)

 

It’s five am, and Lee Hojong does not have the brain capacity to deal with this. He's in Korea for a quick break before the summer LPL season started and had been enjoying fast internet, soloq teammates who knew what a  _laneswap_ actually was, and sleep - _had_ being the  keyword. Until Hosan had called at two am, and had _not_  stopped calling until Hojong finally picked up (that had been four am), delivered news that had made Hojong drop his phone and scramble out of the bed and catch the nearest taxi while still in his pajamas, and now he’s in front of the CJ gaming house, surrounded by Sangmyun-hyung (who has a very, very serious look on his face), Hosan (who looks terrified), Jinyoung (pale and frozen) Mingi (tired, but really when doesn’t he look tired), and finally, Chanyong, who looks like he has been through five layers of hell and wants to deny everything that has happened.

 

Hojong stares at the bundle in Chanyong’s arms. 

 

“A _what?_ ” He asks, because although Hosan had told him the gist of things, he can’t believe it.

 

“A baby,” 

 

“Did you - fuck, you asshole, you got some poor girl pregnant?"

 

“NO!"

 

Chanyong runs a hand through his hair, frustrated.

 

“I _gave birth_  to this baby, you bastard."

 

Hojong can do nothing but gape like a fish. It doesn’t make sense. Chanyong calls him an idiot all the time, he’s not _that_  stupid to know what Chanyong just said is biologically impossible. It’s impossible, yet - the bundle in Chanyong’s arms wiggles, turns, and opens its eyes - yep, those are Chanyong’s eyes. _Jesus._  Hojong wants to collapse on the ground. His knees feel weak.

 

“When?” his voice is hoarse. “How?"

 

“This morning - or night, whatever. Felt pain, and the next thing I know, I have this kid in my arms. As for how, I have no idea.” 

 

Hojong wonders how Chanyong isn’t crying, or cursing. Then he notices that the arms holding the baby are trembling, if slight. Sangmyeon notices, too.

 

“Here, give him to me.” Sangmyeon holds his arms out and wordlessly, Chanyong hands him the bundle. Sangmyeon hoists the baby expertly, not even batting an eyelash when the baby fusses for a moment.

 

“He?” Everything feels numb. Nothing is real.

 

“It’s a boy."

 

He needs to sit down. So Hojong does just that, even though it’s outside and he ends up squatting on the sidewalk, he doesn’t care. No one says anything, no one judges him. They’ve been there.

 

“Why did you even call me? Why am I here?” Hojong asks.

 

“I didn’t,” Is the reply he gets. “ _He_  called _you_  to ask for your opinion.” Chanyong throws a downright despairing look at Hosan, and his tone makes it clear what he thought of _that_  idea. 

 

Honestly? If it was him? “Uhh, sign the kid up for adoption?"

 

It’s the _completely wrong thing to say_  as the air around them instantly turn icy and he can feel Chanyong judge him _so much_  and he definitely put the proverbial foot in his mouth this time, and he knows that sounds bad but he’s a progamer, Chanyong’s a progamer and they’re all progamers, they’re still really young and they can barely be responsible for themselves much less a child and _yikes,_  Chanyong is pissed - heaven knows Hojong deserves it this time.

 

“Thanks for the opinion, it’s noted,” You’d have to be six feet under to miss the sarcasm there. “and thanks for coming."

 

He turns around and goes back into the gaming house. Hojong wants to follow, and explain  that’s not what he meant, but Sangmyeon-hyung touches his shoulder gently and shakes his head.  _Not the right time._ Hojong takes the hint (he does know how to take one, especially if it’s as obvious as this). Sangmyeon says thanks for coming, and Hojong says thanks for what, I made things worse, and the hyung replies, thanks for the moral support.

 

Hojong wonders if he gave any moral support at all - if he didn’t _take_   _away_ morale, that is.

 

 

 

**Week One**

 

 

 

The CJ members adjust to having a baby in the Gaming house. Somewhat. If “somewhat” meant complete panic and disaster every time a baby cried.

 

So, not at all.

 

It’s seven am and the baby is certainly not sleeping. It’s seven am and the baby is crying. The baby is crying out of his mind. The CJ members are going out of their minds too.

 

“What does he _want?”_ wails Hosan, voice very close to breaking.

 

The baby cries even louder.

 

“Oh god, please don’t cry,” murmurs Jinyoung, like a prayer. _Too late,_  Mingi wants to say.

 

The baby continues to throw a tantrum until Chanyong _runs_  in to the room looking haggard and half-dead, not really completely awake, hair a mess, dark circles really prominent under his eyes and looking like the hound of hell itself on the hunt. He looks _murderous_. 

 

“Don’t kill the baby,” Jinyoung says, before he even realizes what came out of his mouth. Chanyong gives him a very long look.

 

“I’m here to _calm_  the baby,” he states, and picks up the crying bundle.

 

“Hush now,” he tells the fussy bundle in a - dare Jinyoung say it - in a  _cooing tone_.

 

Horrified, Hosan notes that Chanyong has a  _fond_ look on his face, as he’s lightly bouncing the baby in his arms. 

 

“Did giving birth to a baby make that hyung go off the deep end,” he murmurs to Mingi, under his breath because he likes living, thank you very much.

 

Mingi gives him a withering look that is even more demeaning than the look he had given back in 2013 when Hosan had picked Vayne in a professional match and fed spectacularly (if that is even possible - he had fed _really_ badly, and all of the CJ members pretend that didn’t happen, if solely for Hosan’s sake, and he’s insanely grateful).

 

“You know, despite the terrifying image that Chanyong has, you guys of all people should know he’s a pretty nice guy, and a softie inside. Hell, you all _live_ with him."

 

Hosan and Jinyoung reflect on their memories: the deadly aura at that time when Chanyong had almost gotten into a literal fistfight with Hojong; the defiant stare when he didn’t agree with the coach; the eyes that screamed bloody murder when they lost the match; the low voice that threatened he were going to regret living if Hosan did not lock in Sivir _right now_. They wonder if Kang Chanyong that Mingi-hyung is talking about is another person.

 

“Plus, he’s got a weak spot for kids.” Mingi adds.

 

Hosan and Jinyoung simultaneously agree that Mingi-hyung is crazy, probably from too much exposure to not-so-sane AD Carries (case in point: Locodoco, Woong, Doublelift).

 

 

 

**Week One, Continued.**

 

 

 

It’s the eleventh time this week that Chanyong has gotten up in the middle of the night to calm a crying, tiny thing. He daydreams about a full night’s sleep. 

 

It’s maybe two am and he’s in the middle of mixing some baby formula and the next thing he knows he jerks awake in a couch nearby with the formula in his hand and the baby still crying and how the hell did end up here? He must have fallen asleep for a few minutes, he checks the clock - and thank god it really has been only few minutes. He makes a move to get up but a hand stops him, shoves him gently back onto the couch. Startled, Chanyong looks up and sees Sangmyeon take the bottle from his hands.

 

“I’ve got him,” murmurs Sangmyeon. “Go to sleep,"

 

Chanyong wants to protest, that no, he’ll do it, it’s no big deal, it’s _his_  own kid - but his eyes close without much resistance, and he falls asleep like that, Sangmyeon cradling the baby in one arm and Chanyong curled up on the other side.

 

 

 

**Week Two**

 

 

 

The baby - Chanyong has named him ‘Jeongbeom’ - grows fast. Really fast. 

 

He grows fast enough to play League of Legends, which is practically the only thing the CJ players care about. Sure, a baby growing that fast probably breaks the laws of physics, or biology or whatever, but they don’t give much shit about _that_. They do give a shit to whether he knows how to hit his skillshots and knows how to use the item actives and making sure the kid is educated on key vocabulary like map movements, vision control, team fighting and contesting/securing objectives.

 

Hey, it’s important.

 

**Week Three**

 

“I’m worried,” It might be hypocritical as hell for him to have this conversation with Sangmyeon, but Chanyong doesn’t care.

 

Jeongbeom has grown a lot - to the point where his goals in life have become clear and he has henceforth declared that he wants to be the best progamer in the world. And that’s where all the problems come in, isn’t it. His CJ uncles are so _proud_  of lil’ Jeongbeom and aww, isn’t that precious? Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever?

 

  
_No,_  Chanyong thinks, violently.

 

“I want him to have a bright future. I don’t want him to become a progamer because _that’s_ all he knows,” Like he said: Hypocritical, check. Doesn’t care? Check. 

 

“Progamer is a hard, tough job, and it’s over fast. It’s a make it or break it business, and people who make it are a one in hundreds of thousands.” he continues.

 

“And yet,” Sangmyeon doesn’t even have to gesture to Chanyong; their _existence_  in the same space right here is proof enough. They made it, and they were once in Jeongbeom’s shoes; some kids who don’t know about much (about anything) and want to make a gamble on their lives. 

 

Who are they to say Jeongbeom can’t - won’t - do it?

 

“Is it wrong to worry for my kid?” Chanyong asks, in a tone that’s maybe a tad bit harsh. He doesn’t care.

 

“I think - he admires you - and wants to be like you.” Chanyong stares at Sangmyeon, speechless.  

 

“And I think that’s a wonderful thing, as a parent, to experience."

 

 

 

**Week Four**

 

 

 

“You know, I always wondered why on earth you picked a nickname like that,"

 

They are in a game together - in what had seemed like in forever - duoing. Chanyong is on his smurf and Jeongbeom’s on his main because he finally got promoted to Master on his own, and Chanyong was pretty strict about getting to tiers with one’s own abilities before he would duo. The summoner name ‘Piccaboo’ is in his chat box, in the queue, and the question jumps out of Chanyong.

 

Jeongbeom shrugs. “I think it’s the earliest memory I have of you, playing Peek-a-Boo with me."

 

Chanyong stares, even when Jeongbeom turns his chair back around and focuses on the screen once again. He did this sometimes, making Chanyong lose the words on his tongue and making him feel irrationally, unexplainably touched.

 

They grew up so fast.

 

 

 

**Week Five**

 

 

_mid: fuck you_

_mid: are you fucking retarded_

_mid: why are your parents even letting you play this game_

_adc: do you even have parents?_

_adc: where the fuck is your mama?_

_adc: SUCKING MY DICK_

Jeongbeom quietly glances over to the computer next to him, where Chanyong is engrossed in another soloq game.

 

_sup: technically_

_sup: I don’t have a mother_

_mid: ..._

_adc: …oh_

_mid: jesus_

_mid: im sorry_

_adc: yea i take it back_

No one curses him out that entire game. That takes care of _that_ problem, Jeongbeom muses happily. On the other side of the room, Chanyong continues with his game, oblivious as ever.

 

The day after, Jeongbeom's smurf account summoner name is changed to “GankedbyFather” (someone had already taken GankedbyMother, he notes, somewhat disappointed).

 

 

 

**Week Six**

 

 

 

It starts when Jeongbeom is busy playing support Fiddlesticks in a soloq match.

 

“Don’t play only the fun ones. Practice your mages and assassins too,"

 

“But dad, I _like_  playing support,"

 

“The market for supports are small and highly competitive. Go for something more in-demand and versatile like a mid."

 

“But _you’re_ a jungler,"

 

“And I was a midlaner at first,” Chanyong says pointedly, his tone final and leaving no room for arguments, clearly meaning  _this conversation is over._  Jeongbeom pouts.

 

“You know,” Sangmyeon says after, when the game is over and Jeongbeom is gone. “it doesn’t hurt to let the kid have his fun. Let him play what he wants,"

 

“But the support position is so limited in these recent patches,” Chanyong snaps. “Nevermind that a support is a hard position to carry with from the _start_. I swear, I shouldn’t have let Mingi babysit Jeongbeom so much.” he adds.

 

“You let him babysit because he was the most sane out of all the other options."

 

“Don’t remind me,” Chanyong groans. "Remember the time Hosan tried to feed him those extra-spicy hot noodles for a meal?"

 

“Oh god,” Sangmyeon laughs, and despite everything, Chanyong cracks a smile too.

 

 

 

**Week Seven**

 

 

 

“I got an offer,” Jeongbeom states. “A sub position. For SK Telecom,"

 

(Something stings at Chanyong’s eyes, and he can’t tell if it’s pride or loss.)

 

Jeongbeom takes the offer, and he moves out shortly after. There are many tearful goodbyes in the CJ house as his ‘uncles’ had grown quite fond of him, but Chanyong just ruffles his hair (something he allows himself one last time), smiles, and tells him to be good.

 

It doesn’t _hit_  him until about a week later; Chanyong finds soloq frustrating and he keeps getting matched with trolls, so he takes a quick break to run to the kitchens for something to drink, and when he sits on the couch _something_ just hits him - and it’s all he can do to just sit, and choke down whatever that’s trying to break out of him.

 

“Are you all right?” Chanyong _jumps_  at the voice behind him as Sangmyeon materializes seemingly out of nowhere. He has a concerned look on his face, and when Chanyong doesn’t reply, he sits himself down on the couch as well, and hands Chanyong a cup of water.

 

“You know, this is where it all started, remember? When I was half-dead and you fed Jeongbeom and got him to sleep,” Chanyong starts, almost a non-sequitur.

 

“I can’t help it,” he utters, quiet. He doesn’t need to specify, _I can’t help but worry. I can’t help but miss him._  


 

“Hey,” Sangmyeon murmurs, low and reassuring. “He’s a good kid. He’s smart, _and_  he’s a good kid. He has excellent skills and if SKT made an offer, he obviously has talent."

 

(SKT are notorious for sniffing out talent and cultivating it, breeding it, because Kim Jeonggyun is like a _dragon_ and his hoard of choice is talent. It’s an inside joke between the Korean pros.)

 

“He’ll be all right,” Sangmyeon wraps his arms around Chanyong and says in his ear, softly. “He’ll be okay."

 

“I hope you’re right,” Chanyong sighs, melts into Sangmyeon’s embrace and falls asleep.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:
> 
> I love the “terrifying tyrant” image that Ambition has. See: (https://twitter.com/dukoo_karrr/status/690063713982877697) (https://twitter.com/dukoo_karrr/status/754325677109760000) and this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVPgYkF7Op0) video. It’s just. All the casters make fun of him for it too I love it.
> 
> He’s an actual softie, he’s really sweet and very cute when he gets flustered (no what do you mean? I have never made him flustered, what are you talking about? No I have never gone up to him at fanmeet and pretended to be a foreigner to make him flustered no never).
> 
> Here’s a video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0XaIEhgAzo&feature=youtu.be) of him at a Samsung fanmeet, acting all shy. God, why must you be so cute, Ambition (in eloboosting’s words: Tsundere Ambition, that’s my aesthetic now).


End file.
